---------- Forwarded message ----------

From: Bongo Beatr <oompa.loompa.local13@gmail.com>

Subject: Mr. Daisey and the Ira Glass Elevator

Date: June 1, 2012 06:01:12 PM PDT

To: storypitch@thislife.org

 

 

TO: Ira Glass, THIS AMERICAN LIFE

DATE: June 1, 2012

 

 

Hello America, it's us!

The ones you threw under a bus.

Last spring, we sent this unannounced -

But, it seems the email bounced.

 

See below for what we wrote.

As you know, we cannot vote.

That's why we beat drums and swarm

In Oompa-Loompa Ballad Form.

 

Please recite this coast-to-coast.

Else, it goes to the Huffington Post.

 

Sincerely,

Oompa-Loompa Local Union 13

 

 

---------- Forwarded message ----------

From: Bongo Beatr <oompa.loompa.local13@gmail.com>

Date: March 16, 2012 11:23:36 AM PDT

To: Friends, Americans, Apple eaters!

Subject: Mr. Daisey and the Ira Glass Elevator

 

 

MR. DAISEY AND THE IRA GLASS ELEVATOR

 

 

Mike Daisey, we are sad to say,

Was sucked into the turbine today.

We told him not to get too close,

But c'est la vie! It's pretty gross.

 

His baggy shirt was yanked in first,

Next the pants - man, he cursed!

Next the body parts were fused

Into those touchscreens you folks use.

 

Just tap the screen – simple, see? -

And upsy-downsy, there's Mike Daisey!

The lying rat! And hey, he's fat!

You wouldn't trust him with your cat.

 

He hurts the ones he wants to help!

Crankier than a review on Yelp!

America sides with Ira Glass

For sacrificing Mike with class,

 

A fat lamb for the gods of Truth

With lies extracted, tooth by tooth;

Burnt, bound, and taped for later,

And pushed out Ira's elevator.

 

What a fall! Yet all Mike did

Was point to things y'all keep hid,

Storytelling – what you call lying –

To bare the lies y'all keep buying.

 

Think Different? You're all the Same!

Bite the Apple & you cheat the Game.

Why not make iStuff yourselves

With all those helpful Genius elves?

 

Or better yet – a Homebrew Club!

Sell 'Pods and 'Pads on Etsy shelves!

Well, we'll tell you. 'Lone in your boots

You know we're drones in bunny suits.

 

Who else sucks the toxic soup

From clean-room ventilation chutes?

Who else stands for 10 hours straight?

Who else sleeps at the factory gate?

 

Now that Willy Wonka's dead

It's time you faced the Truth you dread.

Take our word, you glum commuters:

OOMPA-LOOMPAS MAKE YOUR COMPUTERS.

 

 

 

 

Tweeter: @bongobeatr

 

 

MAY YOUR JULY 4TH BE JOYOUS